Snow Daze

So...this turned out to be a four day weekend, thanks to some ridiculously cold temperatures and a temperamental storm. 

And while I LOVE a good snow day, I am somewhat apprehensive about returning to my classroom tomorrow.  Out of the last 20 days, I've only seen my students twice.  (And the first day back from winter break really shouldn't count-everyone was so tired they kept falling asleep in class.  They fell asleep with their heads on their desks, making facial recognition difficult.  As soon as you'd get one woken, another would take their place.  It was like an erratic game of dominoes.)

Concerned about being dazed by the weather, and to make the transition back into school less stressful and more fluent, I have walked around the house today, rehearsing these phrases as like an understudy on Broadway.  I hope once they hear these words it will stir something deep within them that we have rituals, rules, and routines. 

I know some schools who will not begin classes tomorrow, so I offer these for you in hopes of easing your way back into the year. 

Ready?  Here they are in no particular order:

• (Girl name), sit like a lady, please.
• (Boy name), sit like a gentlemen, please.
• Is your name on that work?
• Thank you, (child's name) for following our CHAMP expectations.
• Make sure your homework gets in your folder.
• Make sure your folder gets in your backpack.
• Just ignore.  
• No pass, no bathroom.  
• Line order.
• I'm going to wait until you're quiet.
• Is your name on that work?
• Shake a leg-we're going to be late to (lunch, recess, specials, library, MAP testing-the possibilities are endless).
• Thank you, (child's name) for following our CHAMP expectations
• Our special today is _____.
• So your laptop isn't being cooperative.  What's the procedure?  Yep, head to a desktop.
• Get a drink of water.  Science has proved that water effectively cures (sore belly button, hurting gizzard, the dent on your finger when you press the pencil too hard).  
• Kindly remove yourself from the pencil sharpener.
• Is your name on that work?
• Before we leave the room make sure your (chair is pushed in, your desktop is clean, the lid is on your dry erase marker).  This one's versatile and can cover a multitude of situations.
• The clinic doesn't open until 8:00.  We'll see if we can get you in then.
• Yes I know (girl) has absolutely beautiful hair.  But your hands belong on your body and not in her hair.
• Friends, thank you for following our CHAMP expectations.
• That's why accidents are called accidents-other wise, they'd be called intentional. 
• Apologize.  Ask them if they need you to tow them to medical attention.  (If you hurt somebody in my room, they know the automatic response is to apologize and inquire about the wounded's physical and emotional conditions.  I have told them I have a little red wagon and will happily attach it to their bike so they can transport the ailing to places such as the urgent treatment center, Baptist Works, or even an emergency room.)  
• In the immortal words of ....  (Get ready-the answers to this sentence warrants a post unto itself.  And will leave you inspired.  Maybe. Okay, not really.  But we did finish this sentence for one of the specials teachers that she literally double over in the hallway holding her side.  Prepare to be entertained.)

And the final two:

• Thank you for following our CHAMPS.
• Is your name on that work?

Wishing you and yours a great 2018!